WRITTEN IN DISGUST OF VULGAR SUPERSTITION

HEL

2007-02-20T18:12:00.000-06:00

Yes, that's the acronym for a class I am taking right now, the History of the English Language. This class, though not entirely useful, has gotten me thinking about the ridiculousness of our language. I've been working on my thesis and I've come across some spellings and abbreviations that we should go back to. From now on, we'll all start writing like this:
syght, lyving, bloodie, ielous, hartes, spoyle, matcht, teares, bewayles

Looks so much more poetic, doesn't it?

Global Warming... Propaganda?

2007-02-04T01:31:00.000-06:00

Apparently, conservative Christian groups are against global warming, as well as a number of other important social, environmental, and political issues:

"The up-tick in global warming propaganda in recent days is to set the stage for the release of the Fourth Assessment Report from the International Panel on Climate Change. Surprise, surprise, the report will say the sky is falling Â faster and faster." (Courtesy Henry Lamb, one of our good friends from World Net Daily)

The article, and others like it from this conservative Christian news source, claim that the theory of global warming is "propaganda" touted by the liberals as an excuse for a billion-dollars-a-year industry.

I have seen Al Gore's film An Inconvenient Truth and I won't argue that it wasn't a little too political for me. Nor will I say that (as a student pointed out) liberals aren't just as hypocritical when it comes to environmental concerns as conservatives are dismissive. However, with all of the scientific information available that supports global warming, climate change, loss of species and habitat, and increasing CO2 levels in our environment - how can one claim that this is all just propaganda? I hate to say it, but Christian conservatives have ignored scientific evidence for decades. This is just one more issue where they can show their ignorance.

But even without the an absolute consensus on the status of global warming (which they say is still a question that is up for debate), the issues on the table are still incredibly valid ones. Let's say I am a conservative Christian who interprets the Bible literally. God asks us to be stewards of our earth (and our money, but we'll leave that for later). This is a creation (a beautiful creation, if you ask me) that God took care of in six days. Speciess are endangered. Habitats are changing, which will inevitably lead to more extinctions. How is this not a concern of the average conservative Christian? Even if they don't buy into the whole global warming thing, what can policies limiting CO2 emissions or increasing gas mileage for cars produced in the US hurt? I see no negative to helping the environment out - if only just a little bit.

I'd like to keep this earth around for just a bit longer, thank you very much.

2007-02-01T23:53:00.000-06:00

I could not bring myself to touch him. Perhaps I was afraid that death would seep out of his veins and creep up my arm and swallow me too. My choice was to come; but I forced myself into the car, and up the steep hill and into the house where he lay dying. Shreds of comfort surrounded him: notes, and family photos, and letters. But he could not see them. I watched his thin body shudder with every breath and his one eye, barely open, covered with the mist of impending death. I wondered if he could see me. The nurses told me that even though he was in a coma, he could still hear me. But what could I say to a man I have known for more than fifteen years who was dying as a result of a terrible disease? That he didn't deserve this? That I understand his pain?
No. Instead, I told him that his faith and attitude throughout his illness inspired me. How could a man be so strong in the face of such incredible turmoil? My faith - my faithlessness - seemed so minimal in comparison to his. I told him his faith had been a beacon to so many people. I recalled the time when our families went to Florida for vacation and we spent some time at Target where he put on a hot pink floppy hat and carried a pink purse. We still have that picture.
And then I broke down entirely. I don't think I have cried so much and with such abandon in my entire life. It was fulfilling, actually - releasing. When I composed myself enough to talk again, I told him that we would all take care of his girls for him. But these words were too much for me to bear and again, I began sobbing. As I said this, I saw his chest heave and his one open eye flutter. I'm not a doctor and I know nothing about the human body, but I need to believe that he heard me.
Before the funeral I told myself not to keep back my tears. That tight feeling in the back of your throat and in your chest is just a warning from your body that you're doing something wrong. Why try when I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself? So when the funeral started, I was prepared with several packages of tissues. I started to cry when the choir sang a song they had dedicated to him last year. The tears came stronger and without ceasing as his brother spoke. "As I look out over this crowd," he said, "I have never been prouder of my brother than I am today." His voice cracked - just a little - and he took his place with the rest of the family.
The last hymn at the funeral was my favorite one. You can only find it in the Lutheran hymnals.
Hark! The voice of Jesus calling
Who will go and work today?
Field are white and harvests waiting
Who will bear the sheaves away?
Loud and long the Master calls you
Rich rewards he offers free
Who will answer gladly saying:
Hear am I; send me, send me.

If you cannot speak like angels
If you cannot preach like Paul
You can tell the love of Jesus
You can say he died for all.
If you cannot rouse the wicked
With the judgment's dread alarm
You can lead the little children
To the savior's waiting arms.

My favorite hymn, with the message that a little faith is enough faith, sung as the last hymn at this man's funeral. I can say with confidence that this was not by accident.

2007-01-31T22:35:00.000-06:00

Spoken like a true gentleman,
you refused my love
and insisted we remain friends.
But how can that be?
I am No Lady -
I refuse to accept your rebuke.

2007-01-31T22:33:00.000-06:00

Spend your time with me
and I will love you more than heaven.
But you will destroy my heart
if you leave me alone for long.
For love is fickle
and mine may freeze with your icy breath.

2007-01-31T22:27:00.000-06:00

Would you love me if I were beautiful and knew
the difference between Aristotle and Plato?
Would you love me if I could tell you about
Heracles and Nero and Alexander?
What if I recited Chaucer or Keats?
Or bought you a brandy and
wrote you a song?
No. I know you.
You cannot
love me.

Students Who Hate Me

2007-01-25T15:52:00.000-06:00

I wouldn't have thought it possible, but I think I have some students that hate me. Of course, as their teacher, what reason would they have not to hate me? Perhaps it was the grammar worksheets or the freewriting activties that finally pushed them over the edge. Today I thought they were going to pluck their eyes out with toothpicks before class was over.

Sexy Tutors

2007-01-21T14:05:00.000-06:00

Check out this article on ABCNews.com: http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=2810531

In Hong Kong's "cram" schools, tutors are touting their long legs, svelte figures, and sexy clothing in order to bring in new students. Though I love my tutoring job, I doubt that I will be picking up a plaid mini skirt, knee-length stockings, and high-heeled mary jane's any time soon.

Are we inherently good or evil?

2007-01-05T12:57:00.000-06:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16469039/

http://abcnews.go.com/US/LegalCenter/wireStory?id=2773429

What do you think? Today, I read two news stories. The first is about a man in NY who jumped in front of an oncoming train to save the life of a stranger who had some sort of medical problem and had fallen off the platform. The man jumped to the tracks, grabbed the stranger and rolled him into the drainage trough where several trains apparently went over the two men, just inches from their bodies. This man was unselfish enough to risk his own life for a complete stranger - a complete stranger in NYC.
The second story is about three teenagers who beat a homeless man to death with a baseball bat. I understand that teenagers sometimes don't make the best decisions - yes, I did not make great decisions all the time - but to be so cruel that killing a man doesn't even cross your radar as being morally wrong...? What was wrong with these kids?
Here we have two stories: one of heroism and bravery and the other of cold-bloodedness and cruelty. So what is the answer? Are human beings inherently good or evil? Which way do we have to push ourselves to accomplish these kinds of acts?

2006-12-13T14:22:00.000-06:00

I have loved you
(no - the idea of you)
since the moment we first met.
Your eyes like the ocean
swallowed me whole
and I made promises I'm not sure I can keep.
But oh! - to be with you
and held in your arms like
sails holding the wind.
How can I love you
(no - the idea of you)
so much and yet feel like you are an anchor?

Graduate Studies in English

2006-12-11T16:19:00.000-06:00

Please, I beg you: Say no more.
Cease the ramble,
Cease the roar,
Cease the constant repetoire of academia.

I cannot shelf you,
Cannot cite you,
Cannot annotate your Herculean effort.

I acknowledge I am flying near the sun,
I am gazing at my own reflection,
I am exposing my tragic flaw - but
I cannot control myself.

Should I become obsessed with my own
immortatlity -- stop me.
Should I start speaking in rime royal -- hold me.
And should I speak of Keats, Shakespeare, and Dickens
as dear friends -- remind me:
Of who you are, of who I am, of what I have to offer.

And the Truth will set you free...

2006-12-10T23:54:00.000-06:00

"Adversity is the first path to truth."
"And after all, what is a lie? ’T is but The truth in masquerade." -- George Gordon Byron

"One can write nothing readable unless one constantly struggles to efface one's own personality. Good prose is like a window pane." -- George Orwell

"'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,' -- that is allYe know on Earth, and all ye need to know." -- John Keats

"Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light." -- C.S. Lewis

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." -- M Scott Peck

2006-12-10T18:50:00.000-06:00

He has burrowed deep inside my brain
like a seed,
germinated and springing up,
settled in and taken root:
a weed.
Try as I might I cannot pull him out.
The thorns cut me
and the roots grow deeper still.
God knows I do not need this
grizzly green growth
inside my garden.
And yet - do I enjoy the feel of prickly leaves?
Do I enjoy the sensation of new love?
I do. But this cannot be.
Go. Leave. Remove your roots.
Let me be.

2006-12-09T16:35:00.000-06:00

Do I dare to love you?

Your eyes, your smile:
express something deeper,
and contain the knowledge
of things dark and frightening
that I know too.

Vast spans of space, and age,
and chasms of experience
separate us two - but bridged by love ...
who knows what we can do?

Find me heartbroken
and the world will know that
I have lost you forever
to a world that I cannot know --
and never cared to.

Don't pain me with your lust-filled
words aimed at someone else.
I watch your words escape and I imagine
capturing them with my tender, love-filled hands,
holding them to my heart and
brushing away your tears
until I cannot avoid kissing you.
What then would you do?

Should I bother to update?

2006-12-07T22:51:00.000-06:00

I'd like an answer to my own question. Should I or not? It seems to me that no one reads my posts anyways, so I doubt it would matter. But, feeling compelled to do so, I will just quickly relate the happenings of the past several months.
In August I got back from a vacation with the fam. On the phone there was a message from a professor at Winona.
It was urgent. I called back.
He asked if I was still interested in doing graduate school.
I said yes.
He said there was a possibility there was an opening and would I please fill out the forms necessary and send them in. I could get an assistantship too.
Well, do I need to tell you that I filled out the forms as quickly as possible?
The result: I got into the grad program in English at WSU and was offered an assistantship.
That has been the last fifteen weeks: writing, researching, reading, reading, reading some more... I think you understand.
I figure I'd better start writing in this blog some more now to get some things off my chest.
Thank god for the internet.

Update on the personal front

2006-05-24T14:36:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been quite a while since I wrote last. Things have been hectic and stressful and busy.
However, I now have some time to actually give a little update on what has been happening in the last few months.
And, let me tell you - a lot has happened!
First of all, I did get a job at Staples and the Boys and Girls Club. Both jobs I really liked. I got an interview at Mayo here in town and although I didn't get that job, one of the interviewers called me and asked that I apply for another position at Mayo. I did that, and was offered the job. I did that for about two and a half months and ended up quitting at both Staples and the Boys and Girls Club.
I did like the job at Mayo because it did require a lot more busy work than my previous 9-5 job, but I didn't really picture myself staying there for the next twenty years of my life. Then of course, I made a mistake - rather, a large lapse of judgment - and I was allowed to resign. However, I do think that this will end up being for the best. As I said, I didn't imagine myself there for the rest of my life. I do plan on having kids at some point in the future, and this wasn't the type of job that you can do part-time and still stay at home raising your kids.
As I thought about it more, I realized (as I said in my last post -- I should have listened to myself!!) that I'm really not cut out for a desk job.
The type of job I want has the following attributes: flexible schedule so I can be home with my future kids, allows me to be creative, puts me in charge, and I make a difference in society somehow. Now, I don't know if you've been looking for jobs like this at all, but let me tell you - they don't exist.
But as I searched for jobs to apply for and fretted about what exactly was going to be happening to me in the future, I got a suggestion from my mom. She had a dream and was discussing my fate with a friend, and the decision was that I should be a teacher.
I had originally planned on being a teacher, in fact that was my declared major my freshman and early sophomore years in college. But the requirements and the whole No Child Left Behind Act frustrated me and I dropped it. Then of course, I had just plain English and then added the Paralegal degree for good measure. All a complete waste of time -- for the most part.
Miraculously, I can stay in Rochester and get my elementary teaching degree here. I don't have to drive to Winona every day. I don't have to take all online classes. In fact, the campus is less than a mile from our house.
As I thought about the prospect of becoming a teacher, it dawned on me that being a teacher has all of the elements that I want in a job. I can be creative (within limits of course), the schedule is ideal as I can be at home over the summer and when my kids are done with school, I get to be in charge and basically run things the way I want to (again, within reason), and the most obvious is that I get to make a difference in the lives of kids.
At the Boys and Girls Club I spent a lot of time with elementary aged kids working on homework, supervising them and tutoring second grade kids. I loved it. And the teachers I worked with all asked me why I didn't get a degree in teaching in the first place!
So, the short end of this story is that I have now in front of me the application to college (again!) and I am looking to go back to Staples so that I can work full-time over the summer and then part-time in the fall when I start classes. Hopefully that will work out, otherwise I'm sure I can find something else.
I have also recently signed up to sell Lia Sophia jewelry. If you haven't heard of it, they really have some great jewelry at reasonable prices and their hostess programs are awesome. I make 30% of my sales and apparently it's a really easy program to get in to and make decent money at. I'm hoping that I will make enough extra cash doing that to at least not be completely poor.
Now, as for this blog.... I am sick of writing about myself and my life, so from now on I'm going to go back to more writing about political and social issues like I did before.
So, wish me luck with all my endeavors and I'll keep you posted!

Employed at Last

2006-01-16T15:58:00.000-06:00

It's unfortunate, isn't it?
You go to school for four years or more, you do a job you think you're going to like (you don't) and when you go to look for a new job, you find you're not qualified for anything!
It's difficult to understand how that is possible, but I know so many people have a hard time finding employment, so I guess I can't complain.
I just got offered a job at Staples. I love office supplies. Of course, it is only part-time, but that's all right. There is opportunity for advancement and I'm hoping to get another part-time job at the Boys & Girls Club here in town.
At least this way, we can go ahead and get the house. The people I'll be working with all seem really nice, and I'm looking forward to meeting some new people.
I don't think I'm cut out for a desk job, so I'm looking forward to some different career opportunities.
I suppose I'd better go pick up our new cell phones....

The Job Search Continues...

2005-12-29T17:24:00.000-06:00

Well, I finally heard back on the job I interviewed for about two weeks ago. Apparently there was some kind of mistake and my "unfortunately we won't be able to hire you at this time" letter didn't get sent. How kind. I'm sure they were out to save my soul from any more embarassment.
Anyways, today I spent all day looking for more jobs to apply for. I applied to ten jobs in town here. Almost all of which I'm qualified to do. There are a few that my education and experience is really pushing it for qualifications, but I figure I might as well just go ahead and apply. The worst they can say is no and at best I might get an interview out of it!
So, I only have about three more weeks left on what my previous employer gave me for severance. So that means I need to get a job ASAP. Two of the jobs I applied for were in the Rochester school district, and they sound like good, solid, fun jobs. One is not particularly well-paying, but... I think it's most important to enjoy what you do for a living (course you DO have to make a living...).
So, again - wish me luck. Tomorrow I'm going to go apply to some retail jobs to get us through until I get a full-time job. Hopefully I'll get some calls sooner rather than later.
Adios.

CRASH

2005-12-26T23:06:00.000-06:00

I just saw the most beautiful movie.
I think even more beuatiful than Big Fish.
Sad. Profound. Beautiful. Eye opening.
If you haven't seen it yet, you should go out the store and rent this movie.
It really makes you think. You can't beat a movie that makes you think.
How can you not appreciate a movie that is about such profound issues in our daily existence?

I live in a midwestern town that, despite its size, still portrays itself as a very small town. Diversity is very clouded here. I know there is a pretty significant population of middle eastern people here, but you wouldn't know it if you walked down the street, or turned on the television, or listened to the radio. Here, we don't talk about racism. We live safely here. And so, we go about our lives ignoring our own prejudices, ignoring the still prevelant problem of racism in our country, pretending everything is well with our world. We ignore it, and so we forget that it even exists. This movie helps you open your eyes and see the world for what it truly is.
Why are we so cruel to eachother? Why do we hate? Why do I hate? Why do you hate?
Is it a fact of life that we must all act this way? I hope not. I pray not.

Still, there isn't much more I can say about this issue that will affect you. The best thing you can do is go out and see the movie yourself. Then it will explain itself to you. Make YOU think. Make you wonder. Make you cry. Make you feel pity for this world we all share.

Unfortunately

2005-12-15T10:51:00.000-06:00

Well, unfortunately the person who was supposed to interview me today called and said the system for their company had crashed and he couldn't do the interview today. So, we rescheduled for Saturday.
For those of you who know me, I like to have things planned out. And the fact that I have to now wait even longer to find out if I have a job and can get the house is going to drive me nuts. Our realtor had to distract the sellers of our new house for the week so that we could wait until the end of the week to let them know if we are going to do a move-in agreement. The idea was that I might know if I have job by the end of the week. But now, I won't know until at least Saturday. I don't like waiting. I like having plans. I like knowing what's going to happen in the future.
You know the other day, after I got "let go" from my job, I got some Chinese food and my fortune cookie said, "You need not worry about the future." Hopefully, that is true and things will still work out the way I want them to.
I guess I'm going to go shopping now. Just as soon as Ellen is over...

I'm Currently In Between Jobs...

2005-12-14T17:38:00.000-06:00

I love that phrase. That's my new favorite phrase.
Yes, yes... it's true. I lost (where did it go, you ask?) my job last week. "Let go" as they say.
Now, I could say bad things about my previous employer, but ... I don't want to do that and you know, I'm not really all that angry anymore. Which is why it's a good thing I waited until now to post!
I already have an interview lined up for tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to this job and I hope I get it. They actually called the day after I submitted my resume online, so they must be really looking for someone. Hopefully that all works out for me, because in order to get the house we made an offer on, I need to have a job that pays at least $10 per hour.
So, wish me luck for tomorrow. I'm going to be a little more agressive than I normally would at an interview so I can find out if I can have the job hopefully as soon as right after the interview.

Home Sweet Home

2005-12-01T14:31:00.000-06:00

Well, our offer was accepted on the new house. We close January 9th. We signed all of the papers to put our house on the market last night. Someone came over and took pictures of our house this afternoon and they put the yard sign up.
Now I guess we just wait and see!

Hello House

2005-11-28T13:40:00.000-06:00

Well, the official word is in... they've accepted our offer. We'll close on the new house January 9th (which is looking closer and closer every day). We put our house on the market on Wednesday so it can be in Friday's paper. I'm asking for diligent prayers that our house will sell before we move into our new house. Fortunately, the way it is set up, we don't actually have any house payments on our new place until March, so we have until the end of February to get someone to buy our old house. However, that "wait and see" and "it'll be fine" attitude is not something I'm good at. I'm hoping (praying..?) that someone will come along in the next two to three weeks and just love our house and make an offer on it. Our realtor just had someone in a similar situation as ours sell their house in 8 days. Wouldn't that be nice? :)
So, we're going in tonight to work out the loan details. We've been working hard trying to get the house ready for the market, but it's really difficult. You just want to sit down and watch tv for a little while but all the time the things that need to be done are nagging at you. Hubby is going to start getting the railing up in the upstairs bedroom tonight. Tomorrow night we are moving our nice fridge and stove out of the house to make room for the old fridge and stove (we want to bring the nice stuff to the new house).
I can't wait until January.

2005-11-17T10:00:00.000-06:00

It started snowing in Minnesota on Tuesday. We now have a crisp, white, crunchy coating of snow on the ground. We have ice on the steps, crystals on the trees. Oh, and then there's the frost on the windshield, the doors frozen shut, the ice on the wipers. Need I go on?
The new snow has gotten me in a Christmas-y mood. I got out my Christmas cds to listen to in the car on the ride to work in the morning. In fact, right now I'm listening to Natalie Grant croon "What Christmas Means to Me."
I love this time of year. I love turkey and ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, sweet potatoes, and pie. I love buying Christmas gifts, putting up the tree, the twinkling lights on the neighbor's house, the evergreen green wreaths downtown. I love Christmas eve services and singing carols. I love gathering with friends and family. I love egg nog and apple cider.
And yet, somehow I have the feeling that Christmas won't ever really hold the same joy and excitement it has for the past twenty-three years after this year. I'm getting older. I remember when nothing bad ever happened. I often wonder if that was because the world used to be better, or just because adults protected us as kids. And I've come to the conclusion that it's the latter. I remember the very first time I heard about bad things happening in the world.
We were on vacation with another family and the adults were discussing an article they had just read in the paper. I asked what they were talking about. I was probably ten. My mom apparently thought I was old enough so she told me to read the article. It was about a little girl, I think thirteen, who had been raped by her father and had become pregnant. She began wearing sweaters and baggy clothes to school to cover it up. No one knew until she had the baby. I thought it was the sickest and saddest thing I'd ever read.
But even after that point, I don't remember many bad things that happened in the world. I know they happened, because I took history classes. Where was I? Probably building snow forts in the backyard and ripping apart Christmas presents.
Recently though, there have been a slew of bad things. I consider myself extremely lucky in that no one I have been really close to has died yet. But I fear those days are coming to an end very shortly. There was the monsoon last winter. Then my dad's mother died of lung cancer, then my husband's step-grandfather died. Then there was Katrina and Rita. Then there was the horrific diagnosis of a friend. And now I hear my grandpa has to have open heart surgery. He's 82. I have a great-grandma that's 95. But that doesn't mean grandpa will live that long too. And if he has to have that surgery, that's a lot of recovery time and possible complications. I doubt things will be the same again. And the friend with ALS will probably have his last Christmas this year where he can walk up and down the stairs and open his own presents.
It's hard to think of Christmas in the same way when things like this happen every day. And yet, people everywhere celebrate the birth of Jesus with more joy than can be imagined after tragedy has struck their lives. It's not like I'll be the first person in the world to have lost a relative or friend.
Here's the low-down, the 411, the meaning of it all: Jesus came to earth in order to die on the cross for our sins. We can't be perfect, we can't do enough good things to get ourselves into heaven. The only way to bridge that gap is through Christ. God sent his ONLY son (think of that sacrifice) to help us. The people that will die this Christmas, or next Christmas or the Christmases years from now - as long as they believe in Jesus as the Savior - will go to heaven. And so, what does that mean? We can still rejoice. We can still sing with joyful voices. We can still put up Christmas decoration, eat sweet potatoes, and open presents. It's that old 'Blessed Assurance' again... :)

A Whole New World...

2005-11-14T09:08:00.000-06:00

Guess what? Hubby and I found a new house that's perfect for us.
The flooring is all new, the light fixtures are all new, there are new six panel doors in the lower level, there's a yard with trees and no neighbors behind (and there never will be). There are closets galore (what am I going to put in all those?). Exciting. Its listed at $169,900. We're hoping to offer $160K and work towards a $165K selling price. Of course, if they accept $160K, that'd be fine too! We do need to do this all contingent on us selling our house. Which worries me a little because there are other houses in the area that have been on the market for a few months all ready. Our place, I think, is a little nicer than most in this price range though, so I don't think we're going to have too much trouble.
Anyone know someone who wants to buy a house in Rochester, MN for somewhere in the $130K range that's walking distance to downtown and the Mayo Clinic?
If so, definitely let me know!! :)
Well, wish us luck.

Sweet Disappointment

2005-11-10T15:45:00.000-06:00

Well, the house was not good. Nothing like the pictures. Don't you just hate how deceiving photos can be?
Anyways, after talking to our realtor, we've realized we're going to have to spend a lot more money on a new house than we first thought. That is, if we want to have some place we can grow into when we have a family and don't have to work a lot on.
I did just find a house that fits this criteria. Its in a nice neighborhood, with mature trees, a big backyard. Its a split-level house, but the people moving out have done alot of work including entirely new kitchen cabinets and tile countertops, laminate wood flooring throughout the house, newly remodeled bathroom with his and her pedestal sinks, french and paneled doors, and ceramic tile. From this pictures it looks beautiful, everything I would want in a house.
We're going to go look at it Saturday. Hopefully I won't be as disappointed in this one. However, if this is "the one" (as they say), we have a lot of work to do in a month or two (plus its Christmas and Thanksgiving, yuck). Wouldn't it be fun to spend Christmas in our new house? Well, I'm thinking I might be overestimating ourselves a bit, but it would be fun.
Anyways, spending that much more on a house definitely means we need to make some changes like not going out to eat so much and not buying so many clothes (that's all me). My friend Tracy pointed out though that having a bigger kitchen makes it easier to cook at home. Plus, we always go out when we want to eat with friends because our place isn't big enough. So, we might be automatically saving money that way.
Who knows? Anyways, I'll keep you all posted. Hopefully the house is great. I would hate to be disappointed again. And I hate waiting here, not knowing. Sigh. (There's lots of sighing going on here lately, isn't there?)

Good night house

2005-11-09T15:26:00.000-06:00

Well, my hubby and I are going to go look at a house tonight. It's an adorable Cape Code style house with wood floors, a porch, dinette, eat-in-kitchen, finished basement w/ wood burning stove, and a main floor bedroom suite. There are three bedrooms and at least 2 1/2 bathrooms. We're not really sure as some of the sites say three bathrooms, others say 2. I'm assuming there is one on the main floor, one upstairs, and one in the finished basement. I hope I like it in person because I've fallen in love with it over the internet (is that like an online relationship?).
Of course, buying a new house probably means I won't be able to go back to school. But I'd rather have a new house than go back to school. The house sits on 1/3 of an acre and is located right near the major highway in town and is a short driving distance (biking for hubby) to downtown where we both work.
It's newer, so there will be fewer updates we will have to do. It's slightly smaller than our current house, but since we don't have a finished basement, it actually gives us more living space. And a bigger kitchen (which I'm craving) and more than one bathroom. The one bathroom thing is driving me nuts practically every morning and usually evenings when we get home from someplace.
You girls know how guys have to go to the bathroom and spend all night in there...? Well, imagine if you had to go too and you didn't have a place to do that. That's my life. And in the morning, hubby complains that I spend too much time in their fixing my hair and make-up, etc. when he has to go to the bathroom or use the sink. He's started to use the kitchen sink for brushing his teeth now. Sad.
If we do move we'll have to finish several things with our current house before we put it on the market. But, that just means things will get done because normally we put everything off for months before we accomplish anything. The people moving out of the house we're looking at tonight are building a new house, so they won't want to close for a few months yet. Which actually would be perfect for us.
So, I guess, wish us luck. I hope I'm not disappointed in it, it's so adorable I just want to kiss the screen! I'll be sad if its not what I hoped for. Ah well... such is life.

Rock of Ages

2005-11-04T11:10:00.000-06:00

"The rock of salvation - He cannot be moved - He's proven Himself to be faithful and true."
It's a little difficult sometimes to believe this. It's so hard to convince yourself of this when bad things happen. You wonder what in the world He could be thinking.
A good friend of our family (who will remain nameless because they have yet to tell their employers among other people) was just diagnosed with ALS. ALS is a degenerative nerve disease. It starts in one part of the body, usually a limb, and spreads to the rest of the body to eventually destroy all voluntary muscles. Most people die within three to five years of being diagnosed. Their lungs stop working properly and they die of respiratory failure. Prior to this, however, they can't walk, can't speak, and can't eat. The cruel irony of this disease, however, is that it doesn't affect your cognitive ability. So that means that while your muscles are slowly wasting, and you're lying in bed unable to feed yourself or speak, you can still hear and see your friends and family gathered around your bed and can still think. He's probably wishing he could talk.
The worst part of this whole thing is this friend is such a good person. What purpose could he/she leaving early possibly have? Why would God take away someone like that? Why would God leave this person's children without a parent?
I'm trying desperately not to be angry. But it is difficult. The best I can do is be grateful that it is not my parent or my husband.
I guess in the end, God has a plan - even if that plan doesn't really sound all that great to you. There has to be some purpose, some greater reason for everything that happens - even this.
It's just sad is all. And it's making me feel a little gloomy and not at all ready to escort three teenage girls to a faith conference this weekend. Sigh.

So That Explains It...

2005-11-01T14:48:00.000-06:00

Fellow blogger g. randy primm has turned me on to an interesting tid-bit of information.
President Bush is actually a megalomaniac, sociopathic (possibly borderline pathological), suffers from abandonment issues and compensates for his feelings of inferiority with delusions of power and invincibility.
Ah... now I see.
Thank you.

It's Finally Arrived

2005-11-01T10:11:00.000-06:00

Dear Fellow Writers:
If you are half out of your mind like me, you've recently embarked on this frightful journey called National Novel Writing Month.
If you need sustenance, writer's fuel consists of cups of coffee, bags of M&Ms, and Halloween candy. Followed by an occasional stuffed crust pizza.
The rules are simple. You must do no laundry or chores or cooking for the next 29 days. You must ignore your friends and family. You must ignore your family pet - except when he gives you inspiration for your talking animal sequence.
Simply put - you must put everything aside in the noble attempt to complete a novel in a single month. Of course, someone has to pay the bills, so if you must work - you must.
I have recently begun my noveling pursuits. I have 641 words so far out of 50,000. Not bad for my first hour.
If you too are out of your gourd, I wish you luck.
Sincerely,
Tiffany

Is Bush as bad as we think?

2005-10-31T17:04:00.000-06:00

I don't want to be outted as a conservative here, but I've been thinking...
The majority of the vocal people on the internet regarding Bush's administration are young people. Take me for example. I am almost 24 years old. The only administration I've ever really known, and the only administration I've ever been able to vote for has been the Bush administration. When I was in High School I couldn't really care less about politics. I have really no idea what went on in the Clinton administration except for that little snafoo with the blue dress.
So, I don't have anything to compare to current administration to. I've heard others saying Clinton's administration was just as bad as Bush. Of course, we do have recent polls indicating a close to 30% (that's wretched, by the way) approval rating for Bush. That must mean something.
But I have to wonder if four years from now (Gosh that seems like a long way away) I'll be any happier with our President.

Response to Binge Drinking

2005-10-31T08:42:00.000-06:00

"Fuck you! I only ho[pe that you NEVER have to go through what my family is going through, This very night we gathered to celebrate my son's 18th birthday and the only person missing was my nephew Patrick. You certainly did not hear what my sist in law had to say on the Today Show. She never said that her son never drank. I have the tape and can send it to you. If you have children, protect them but don't ever for one minute judge another parent or family for their actions or things that happen to them. What goes around,comes around. Thank you for your sympathy."

This, my friends was a response posted to the blog I posted on October 12th about binge drinking and college student Patrick Kycia. Unforunately, I cannot find the transcript of the program I was referring to. Perhaps this person is right, maybe the parents didn't say he never drank, but they did say something to the effect that their child never did anything like this before.
Now, I didn't think for one minute that people outside of my immediate family would start reading my blog - so thank you to the person who posted this comment - because I should start thinking a little more about the things I say on here. With that said, however, I would like to say that I don't judge - only God can judge when that day comes - and you're right: I hope against all hopes that I never have to go through what your family is going through. And I truly do feel sympathy for your family. But, like I said, most parents are completely naiive. I should have been more clear in my previous post. I don't know that Patrick's parents did anything wrong - how could I? Their comments just got me thinking about the hundreds of times I could count parents saying their child doesn't drink, doesn't party, isn't "that kind of kid" - when that statement is completely wrong.
So, I apologize to members of the Kycia family. But, what was said was taken out of context by the commentor. I was simply stating the obvious fact that most parents are naiive and I don't plan to raise my children that way.
I hate to continue this topic, but I really think it is a necessary evil. Binge drinking - what are the causes? 1) the cluelessness of parents, 2) our society's insistence of presenting drinking in an exciting light (i.e. movies, tv shows, etc.), 3) our country's conservative views on almost everything - including alcohol, 4) peer pressure, 5) the ease of obtaining alcohol for minors.
We've already looked at cause 1. Let's look at the others. Cause 2: I bet if I watch all of the primetime shows on television tonight, I could count at least a dozen instances in which main characters or side characters turn to drinking for fun, to drown out sorrow, etc. These same instances will probably be presented as exciting and, if its a comedy, funny. Cause 3: our country has the distinction of having a really difficult time with underage drinking. Why is that? Well, my opinion is that it is because our children are taught from a very early age that drinking is evil. Meanwhile they are pounded with images from the media that it is cool. What else is cool? Defying your parents. Breaking the law. So, they drink. If kids were taught to drink responsibly from a very early age, like they do in other countries, perhaps our drinking problem wouldn't be so much of a ... problem. Cause 4: peer pressure. Kids are mean. That's all there is to it. We've got the media encouraging kids to drink. And as if that weren't enough, we have older kids - maybe even kids the same age - encouraging their friends to drink. So you have young kids who don't know their limits teaching their friends about drinking. The parents should be the ones teaching their kids about drinking. Cause 5: the availability of liquor for underage drinkers. Maybe the penalties aren't strong enough, I don't know. But what older sibling wouldn't buy their younger brother or sister liquor for a party? You've got all of these pressures on the kid to drink. If they are the ones bringing the liquor to the party, how much cooler will that make them? So, older friends and siblings buy underage kids alcohol. The guy at the liquor stores barely ever checks for an i.d. What do we expect? In the college setting, Freshmen and some Sophomores are underage, but they are taking classes with Juniors and Seniors that can drink. So the availability of liquor in the college setting is even greater.
I don't doubt that all of these things led to Patrick's death. And I'm glad those kids that served liquor to minors are being punished. The point is - I don't judge - and neither should you. Blogs are a place for people to post opinions. And I'm glad that you got here, and took the opportunity to read my blog. Perhaps we will all learn something today.

2005-10-27T14:45:00.000-05:00

Isn't my pup adorable?

CDs in my case

2005-10-27T13:30:00.000-05:00

I thought it'd be interesting to make a list of all the cds that are in my cd case right now. I will skip over the ones that are clearly my hubby's - as I know I didn't purposely buy those.

Remember the Titans soundtrack
Jewel: Spirit
Magnolia soundtrack
Oasis: (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Scissor Sisters
Tommy Boy soundtrack
The Beach Boys: Endless Summer
Michael Jackson: Bad
Tonic SolFa: Left Turn
Reel Big Fish: Turn the Radio Off
Queen: Greatest Hits
Aerosmith: Get a Grip
Aerosmith: Big Ones
Aerosmith: Pump
Aerosmith: Nine Lives
Classic Rock Greatest Hits (the Target collections)
The Lion King soundtrack
Beauty & The Beast soundtrack
Hercules soundtrack
Aladdin soundtrack
Moulin Rouge soundtrack
Amadeus soundtrack
Chicago soundtrack
Duets soundtrack
Ghost soundtrack
Can't Hardly Wait soundtrack
Jewel: Pieces of You
Romeo & Juliet soundtrack (I used to absolutely love this cd)
Billy Joel: Greatest Hits 1973-1985
Michael Jackson: HIStory volume 1
The Mask soundtrack
Swing this Baby!
Cherry Poppin' Daddies: Zoot Suit Riot
The Thrills: Let's Bottle Bohemia

And I guess that's it.

Choice Theory

2005-10-27T13:16:00.000-05:00

I've finally done it. I've decided I'm going to go back to school. Three years from now you'll be looking at a new counselor for the city of Rochester.
Anyways, I have to take statistics. I'm a little worried about it. Math is... not my forte, to put it lightly.
So I went to B&N last night and picked up a book on Statistics. I figure I can start working on it now, get the general hang of things and then when I take the class I won't be so intimidated and it might be easier.
While I was there I also went through the Psychology section. I thought I might find some interesting reading.
I picked up "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and a book called "Choice Theory."
The idea of choice theory basically means that we choose everything about ourselves. We choose how to act, how to react, our emotions, everything. The good Doctor says that our world is currently run on a system called external control theory. The tool of this system is coercion. Think about it... how do you get your kids to do something they don't want to do? Coercion. How do you get your husband to do something he doesn't want to do? Coercion. How does your boss get you to do things you don't want to do? Coercion.
And basically, all this coercion is ruining our relationships. He says that all misery in this world can be traced back to bad relationships. And that is essentially true (he does make exceptions for natural disasters, etc. Things beyond anyone's control).
Anyways, I'm just reading the introduction, but I thought I'd share with you what I'd learned so far. As I go along, I'll probably post my thoughts. I think it'll be interesting. Even though hubby and I get along great, I do have some friends who... well, aren't in the greatest of places with their relationships... and I'd love to get some insight into what can make a bad relationship great.

Reasons Against Gay Marriage

2005-10-26T09:28:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a while I realized. I just found this great satire that my friend Emily posted on her blog. Or... maybe its not a satire. If you don't agree.. you probably shouldn't be reading my blog.

Reasons against gay marriage:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Snapple fact of the Day

2005-10-18T08:48:00.000-05:00

It is possible to lead a cow up stairs but not down stairs.

So much to do... so little time

2005-10-17T11:28:00.000-05:00

The month of November is going to be tricky.

In case you haven't been paying attention, I'm going to be writing a novel during this month. I've also gotten myself into organizing a women's walking group for our church. We are going to meet Tuesdays and Fridays for this. I will also have to organize the bible study portion of this for our Tuesday meetings, which means reading and prepping and copying.

I want to get a second job, but thinking about November and all that's coming up... I highly doubt I would have any time at all to start working. I can't decide if I should send in my application now and when I have my interview just tell them I can't start until December... or if I should just wait until the end of November to turn in my app.

The other thing I would like to do is some more religious studies. I did a lot of research during college into the Mormon religion and it was really, really fascinating. Part of me would like to start doing more research, including going to a service. But then, what would I do with said research? Would I write a book? There are hundreds of books about Mormons out there already. What could I offer that hasn't been done before? Nothing really. I guess research would just be my way of adding to my body of knowledge.

I'm really looking forward to going back to school next fall. I haven't sent in my TA application yet, but now that I have three references, I can get on that. I filled out the application, now I have to write a letter of intent and send it in. I worry about this though because only if I get the TA position can I go back to school. I could never go back without that - the money just wouldn't be there.
I know I don't need to worry about it yet, but what if I don't get the TA position? Should we just go ahead and try to have kids right away? Should I look for a different job? What's worse is that I won't have answers to any of these questions until March. The English department (for some insane reason) only reviews applications once a year - in March. So I have to wait until then to find out if I have been accepted into the program and if I got the TA position.
It terrifies me to think that I might not get it.
Okay, okay.. no more thinking about it. This is silly. I just have to wait until I find out, right?

URL

2005-10-12T17:25:00.000-05:00

here's the URL to the blog I was just talking about: www.jellybelly-jj.com
Enjoy!

Binge Drinking (or how I'm going to raise my kids)

2005-10-12T16:59:00.000-05:00

Today I heard on .. well, the Today Show an interview with the parents of student Patrick Kycia, the student from the University of Moorhead who died after a night of binge drinking. His parents stated that their son never drank, that he was always a good kid, that they'd never had any problems with him before. I would like to shout an emphatic "WAKE UP!" to these parents. Parents are so often clueless, I sometimes think we should hold the parents accountable for the kids' stupid decisions.
When I was in HS I shared almost everything with my parents. I have to put the dislaimer "almost" in there because it is just inconceivable for a teenager to tell their parents everything. Anyways, my mom was very chatty with the other girls and guys at my HS - very involved, etc. She would sit next to some of the other parents during basketball games. During these games the moms would go on and on about how their precious child was perfect, never did anything bad, told them everything. And my mom would snicker because I just told her about the giant party all those girls were at last weekend where they got totally smashed. "Oh I know my girls soo well. They tell me everything!" Whatever. It's the parents who think their child is angelic who unwittingly cause their child harm. This is because thinking their child is angelic leaves their minds closed to any thoughts of "devilish" behavior and they don't see the signs and refuse to talk to their child about bad behavior.
I could never have come home drunk or covered in a cloud of smoke because my parents would sure as hell know where I'd been. And they would likely know the kid who's house I had been at and would more than likely call everybody elses parents - and get the kid who threw the party in trouble. I had a curfew - usually midnight. If I wanted to stay out later, I had to call and ask. Sometimes my mum would say yes. Sometimes she would say no. I think she had her mom-dar (that's mom radar) on full blast those times she said no because those times were the nights when I would be at a party where drinking (among other things) was involved. I suppose that probably saved me from some bad decisions.
Anyways, the point is: parents are oftentimes way too naiive. Its sad, really. And I hope to God that I can raise my kids in a completely non-naiive way.
Which leads me to my next sounding point. I read a blog today - the URL of which I can't remember, but will post tomorrow - of a woman (26) who is having infertility problems. She'd been on the pill since she was 16 and she points to that as the reason she's having difficulty getting pregnant. This frightens me. My biggest fear is not being able to have kids when we decide we want them. We're going to be waiting until I'm at least 28 years old. Does that make my likelihood of having infertility problems even greater? Oh boy. This woman also goes on to share about her issues with her family and the "disappointment" they feel that they haven't been given grandchildren. yikes. A relative (who will remain nameless) said the other day that our dog shouldn't take precedence over a baby and that we should definately get on top of having babies. In other words: you were put on this planet to reproduce - now get at it! Did she want us to start trying on the kitchen table? For goodness sake! Anyways, its attitudes like said relatives that make this fear of mine even more real.
I will make sure to give you the URL to this woman's blog tomorrow.

Snapple fact of the Day

2005-10-07T09:16:00.000-05:00

Fish have eyelids.

NaNoWriMo 2005

2005-10-03T09:39:00.000-05:00

I was really looking forward to today because I could finally register for the 2005 Nanowrimo event. Unfortunately, their servers crashed and burned on the first day of registration (the 1st) and they are currently working on updating their servers to be opened tomorrow. That means that I cannot register.
However, since it is now October (yipee!) that means I can start seriously thinking about my novel.
I'm very thrilled about taking part in this awesome event. For those of you who don't know anything about it, the idea is to start November 1st, end November 30th, and write 50,000 words in between - basically write a novel in a month. Which is what NaNoWriMo stands for: National Novel Writing Month.
This will be my first year participating. I recently bought a laptop, so I plan on spending a good portion of my time in November sitting at Panera working on my novel. I need to write 1,700 words a day in order to reach my goal. I don't think that should be terribly difficult - however, I've never tried to write a novel in a month before.
My story this year is going to be about a couple engaged to be married whose respective families hate eachother. In a last ditch effort to make them get along, the couple plans a several day trip to the Northwoods to stay in a cabin near Grand Marais (my favorite vacation spot). Of course, all sorts of hilarity and chaos ensues. I haven't decided yet what's going to happen in the end. I know how its going to start and who my characters are - I figure they will figure that out for me as I go along.
Anyways, now I'm looking forward to tomorrow when (hopefully) the servers will be back up and I can register and take part in the forums.

Snapple fact of the Day

2005-10-03T09:38:00.000-05:00

Lizards communicate by doing push-ups.

*Note*: I'd love to see that! I wonder if they need interpreters?! :)

TGIF

2005-09-30T08:55:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention this earlier - thank god its Friday! :)
Tonight we are having poker night with some old friends from college. Chris J. is back in town from NY so we'll probably play into the night.
Tomorrow though we have to go over to my folks' house (well, at least my hubby has to) to move all of their furniture. They are getting wood floors put in next week, so everything (and I mean - everything) has to go downstairs. I told mom we'd be drinking so I wasn't sure how early we could get there Saturday.
Chris is a bad influence on me!
Anyways, I'm planning on sleeping in as much as I can Saturday morning. I haven't gotten to do that in ages. Can't wait.

Snapple fact of the Day

2005-09-30T08:53:00.000-05:00

A hummingbirds' heart beats 1,400 times per minute.

Snapple fact of the Day

2005-09-28T12:30:00.000-05:00

Theodore Roosevelt was the only president who was blind in one eye.

Frustration Continues

2005-09-27T16:20:00.000-05:00

While I've recently accquired a laptop and I'm looking forward to writing my first novel in the month of November - things on the spiritual front continue to do poorly.

Unfortunately, i live in a town that is very traditional and conservative and no mega churches exist. The church I attend is very small and there are no classes or small group available to me that fit what I'm looking for.

The problem seems to be that I'm in a very unfortunate age group. I'm almost 24 years old. I've graduated from college, I have no children, I'm married. Therefore, I don't fit the MOPS profile, the Singles groups profiles, or the College student profiles. Very few churches have small groups for couples ages 19-30 without kids. And besides that fact - my husband would never attend one of these groups.

So, the problem is that I would love to stay at the church I now attend and work towards bringing in new ministries and helping the church grow - but that also means I am denied the opportunities to meet new people and learn new things by attending a new church. Even the larger non-denominational churches in town don't have very many classes targeted at people like me.

So what am I supposed to do? Ah.. frustration abounds. I am currently working on updating the church website. In the process, I have been looking at other church websites for ideas. I've recently come across two mega-churches in the Minneapolis area. Both of the churches seem simply amazing. They have classes for new believers, old believers, people considering baptism, couples classes, small groups, college students, etc. The list could go on - but basically I mean, they have a little bit of everything - something for everyone. But I don't want to drive an hour and a half every Sunday morning to go to church!

One of the solutions I think I have been lead to, is to attend Crossroads College (the bible college in town here) to get my "Leadership Certificate." There are several classes that I think will be very interesting and educational and I'm looking forward to starting classes. Hopefully the guy I contacted will call me back soon.

Anyways, like I said, I'm frustrated and its difficult as no answers are presenting themselves - regardless of prayer efforts.

Snapple fact of the Day

2005-09-26T09:33:00.000-05:00

Smelling bananas and/or apples can help you lose weight.

*Note*: I'm not sure how true this is. I'll have to try it! :)

Snapple fact of the Day

2005-09-22T10:20:00.000-05:00

I drink Diet Snapple Raspberry iced tea every day. As you may or may not know, on every cap is a little interesting fact. I thought you might enjoy these, so I would like to share them with the world! I'll post a new one every day - if I can remember.

DESPITE ITS HUMP, A CAMEL HAS A STRAIGHT SPINE.

I'm Lost Again

2005-09-22T10:13:00.000-05:00

Thank the Lord! Lost is back.
I must admit that I didn't have as long of a time to wait as many other people on this island, but the few days I waited were long enough.
Theories abound as the Lost survivors meet familiar faces.
Some people are crazy about this show. If you go to the Lost message boards at abc.com, hundreds of people are posting their crazy ideas about the meaning of the numbers, the reason Desmond was down in the hatch, and what is going to happen in the rest of the episodes. They're all nuts -- but I can't seem to pull myself away from them! "What if, what if" keeps rolling about in this restless mind of mine.
Lost premiered last night, so now I have six more days until I can see it again. Will the writers reveal more secrets? Will anything be answered? Who is Desmond? Why - or rather how - did Jack meet him four years earlier? Is there someone else down in the hatch? Who are the 'Others'? Was that really Walt? How are Sawyer, Jin, and Michael to get back? And again - what are the meaning of the numbers!?
Someone on of the message boards pointed this interesting fact out: 4+8+15+16+23+42 = 108 which was the number on the mural in the hatch! What can it possibly mean?
And will I survive the week? Or will my brain explode while thinking about all of the possiblities?

Poker Season

2005-09-16T13:14:00.000-05:00

I'm in a much better mood today. I'm still frustrated, but I wrote my husband a nice long letter, so hopefully he will understand everything I have to say.
I've also discovered this wonderful game called Texas Hold 'Em. There's this great website called partypoker.net which I discovered after watching Celebrity Poker Showdown. Hence, I can play poker online all day for free!
Amazingly, its kind of therapuetic. Plus, my hubby and I decided we are going to have a poker night with some friends of ours, so tomorrow I'm going to head to the store to buy some poker chips. I think we are going to bet on food and the like. Anyways, that sounds like fun and I'm soo glad its Friday, so here's to the weekend! Cheers!

Hello? Is anybody there?

2005-09-14T11:14:00.000-05:00

Can anybody hear me? Knock.Knock.Knock.
Its like I'm invisible. No one listens to anything I have to say.
At my job. At home. At church.
My boss ignores my suggestions, comments, and pleas.
My hubby ignores my questions, needs, and requests.
My church ignores my suggestions, offers, and needs.
Is anybody there? I don't think I'm invisible, and yet...
Knock.Knock.Knock. No answer.

Lost

2005-09-14T10:53:00.000-05:00

There's this new show on t.v. Have you heard of it? Its called 'Lost'.

Well, its not exactly new, but my hubby and I decided we wanted to watch it this season. However, because of the way these series work, we needed to catch up on the first season.

We rented the first DVD of the first season of Lost and watched the first three episodes last night. Tonight I have to take the DVD back to the store and get disc two. Because we only have a week to watch them all, we've really got to get a move on.

But anyways, this show is pretty good! The first episode was like watching a scary movie. My heart was pounding as they raced through the jungle, I had to turn away when the guy got sucked into the engine... It was great! The next two episodes weren't as scary, but they kept the suspense going. I really want to know what Kate did that got her a seat next to the U.S. Marshall on that plane. Anyways, if you haven't seen it, I suggest you run (not walk) to the nearest video rental store and get the first season so you can join the rest of America as they watch the second season of Lost.

New FEMA director

2005-09-13T14:38:00.000-05:00

I was a bit surprised when FEMA director Michael Brown submitted his resignation. I thought he might last a little longer and be fired by the Bush administration, but at least he did the right thing. The person Bush appointed to replace him, David Paulison, is the person Bush should have appointed in the first place. This guy has years of experience working in disaster relief, he's been a firefighter, he's been with FEMA for a while...
Now, there is really no proof that if Paulison would have been the FEMA director during Katrina instead of "Brownie" things would have been much different. I'm not sure that a different director would have made a significant difference. The real problem is why there was no plan in place for this kind of disaster. And I think that's what the Bush administration needs to be asking itself in the months to come.

Movies

2005-09-13T14:36:00.000-05:00

Since February my husband and I have had a great little thing called MVP from Hollywood video. You can rent three movies at a time - unlimited - for $15/month. You can rent all old movies and a good portion of the New Releases. You do have to wait a month or more to see the recently released films, but for only $15 a month - I can wait!
So, I've come up with a list of movies I want to see. Some of them I never saw when I was a kid because my folks wouldn't let me watch R rated movies. Some of them I saw when they came out when I was like 10 and haven't seen them since. Others I saw more recently but I can't remember much about them. So I have this huge list of movies and every once in a while I might post a little review. FYI

Taxes

2005-09-09T14:45:00.000-05:00

So, for years we've heard incessant whining from the public about taxes. Here in Minnesota, we have a governor who promised in his election campaign not to raise taxes. He has since dutifully stuck to his guns (much like Bush, I might add) and refused to raise taxes.
I would like to point out to all of you out there that agree with Mr. Bush and Mr. Pawlenty a very simple - yet strangely elusive point.
Your taxes pay for things you use every day!
Let me note that one more time, for those of you who didn't grasp it:
Your taxes pay for things you use every day!
We have people complaining about the condition of our roads, our schools, the apparent lack of a good stadium in the state, public and social programs... the list goes on. Then in the same breath, these same people insist that we are taxed too much. Where do you think all that money comes from to fund programs that you so desperately need?
Our children are more important than having a few extra bucks in the bank; that you will undoubtedly spend on boats or vacations or expensive leather briefcases. You call and complain to the city day after day about the pothole in front of your driveway. Do you expect a city worker to come out and fix it for free?
I know its a difficult concept to grasp. I would like to shout it from the rooftops, parade around the city with a sandwhich board on my bare a**, paint it on the sidewalks... but still, they probably won't listen. The will continue complaining to the governor and to our president who insists on giving tax breaks to the wealthy. I give up.

States vs. Federalism

2005-09-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

Conservatives and Republicans generally agree that powers should be returned to the states, that the government shouldn't interfere, etc. etc. That's a nice thought, but they change their minds when a disaster strikes (like Katrina) or they need some other assistance.
People are complaining about the lack of health care insurance. A federal program for health insurance would be great and very appreciated... but we don't want the federal government controlling our lives. Don't let the government have too much power but... why was their response so slow in the wake of Katrina?
Again, it all comes down to hypocrisy. I think I should start a new political party called the Logic Party. We use logic in this party - not emotions, religious ideals, and assumptions. We think things through, we look at the pros and cons of each side and make a decision based on those pros and cons.
All this hypocrisy drives me out of my gourd.

Hurricane Katrina

2005-09-02T09:55:00.000-05:00

Excuse my language, but... what a bitch.
It honestly breaks my heart... I just want to cry watching all of that destruction and heart ache going on down there.
There are a lot of questions right now. I don't know that anyone is ever going to be able to answer all of them. I keep thinking that every generation has their disaster. My mom had the Challenger explosion and Vietnam. I thought I had seen enough when my generation's disaster turned out to be 9/11. But I have to say, that this disaster is even worse. There are so many things that could have been done to prevent this. I see these pictures and I think we live in a third-world country.
First of all, New Orleans' levees were only designed to withstand a Category 3 hurricane. Most of the city is 10 feet below sea level and sits in a bowl, surrounded by water. Why wasn't more done to protect the city at an earlier stage? Think of Venice - surrounded by water... water in the city, outside of the city, through the streets, next to buildings. They've seemed to make it work over there.
Second, for FOUR YEAR our president has been talking about disaster response, that we're safer now, that we've got this Homeland Security office that will take care of all of us. Now, I know a natural disaster isn't a terrorist attack, but if the flooding in New Orleans had been caused by a bomb instead of a hurricane... what then? We would still be in this mess. It scares me to think that a terrorist could blow up a city and the government would be this slow to respond. Its been four days and there are still thousands of people trapped on their roofs or at the Convention center or Superdome. Where are they all going to go? What's going to happen to our economy? Are flights going to continue? Is gas going to continue going up? What's next? And its obvious the President isn't prepared for any type of disaster.
Of course, a lot of people are going to be asking: Why were all those people there in the first place? Well, I don't know much about New Orleans, but I have to figure that most of those people didn't have transportation out of the city. If there is going to be a mass evacuation - you have to provide some way out for the people who don't have transportation. If New Orleans is a city like any other large city in the country, most of the people that work 8-5 jobs for minimum wage ride the bus. I heard on MPR that all of the rental cars were gone very quickly. There were no flights heading out. There were many people there on vacation. How were they going to get out? Forget transportation. Let's talk about health. There are a lot of people there that are too frail or too young to move. It probably wasn't feasible for them to get out of the city, even if they did have a car to use. Think about all those people in hospitals that are now without food or water and electricity. Where people are apparently dying "left and right" according to CNN.com. And of course, there are those that were too stubborn to leave or that wanted to stay to help in the aftermath of the storm. I heard on MPR yesterday about a woman and her husband who work for certain agencies and they decided to stay to help in the relief effort afterwards. So, if someone ever does the math, I doubt there are more than 10% of people who stayed that stayed because of choice. I suppose 90% of them stayed because they had to.
It makes me horribly angry that our country cannot respond to a disaster of this magnitude in a timely manner. Where is the help for these people? Where is the help for the rest of the country when the economy falls flat on its face because of rising gas prices and companies that are now out of business? I really hope someone pays the price for this. On the Today show this morning Chris Matthews said that "heads will be rolling". He thought the President would fire a lot of people after this and that the President himself will probably bear a good portion of the blame for this disaster. Good - I hope he does. Maybe people will finally realize what's been going on for five years!

Iraq War

2005-08-25T16:26:00.000-05:00

New story to read:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/IraqCoverage/story?id=1066030&page=2
Bush has experienced flagging support for the war in Iraq among his constituents and among the American people. But he has gleaned support from the woman this story is about.
I figured maybe it was time I mentioned my feelings about the war.
First off though, I want to say that I think it is pathetic that Bush has to go out and FIND support for his war. The woman in the story did not come to Bush to offer support, the Bush administration went out looking for someone like her.
So, as far as the war goes... I don't want to disrespect what those people over there are doing. I don't think concern and disapproval of the war itself equates to not supporting the troops. There are troops all over the world serving our country. Some are more in harms way than others, but either way they signed on for something that was potentially life threatening. I give them ALL props for this. Regardless of where they are stationed. I support our troops. There - I said it.
HOWEVER - and this is a big however - there is a difference between support for the troops and support for a war. I personally think it was wrong for Bush to mislead Americans into a war. He claimed links to terrorism and WMDs (we all know what that stands for now... sigh..). But Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks, nor did they have any WMDs. I'm not saying that Hussein was a great guy or that he didn't deserve to be ousted. But the problem I see is that Bush went into the war for certain reasons, and those reasons simply didn't exist when they were put up to the microscope. And that's why so many people don't support this war. On the other hand, we are bringing "freedom" to other parts of the world. But the problem I have with this is that I don't think it's our job as Americans to go about playing hero. After the war in Iraq is over, what's next? A war in every country with a dictator and where they don't have the same type of government we do? If that's the case, we might as well invade Britain. I mean, an aristocracy isn't really fair, is it? So, let's invade over there too. Let's kill off thousands more of our young men and women (and let's face it - not so young men and women). Support for the war is diminishing quickly, but Bush doesn't seem to think any of our opinions matter. Nor does he see he made a mistake - or if he does, he hasn't admitted it publicly. I think that if Bush came out and said, "Woops I did it again! I made a mistake, sorry folks... I'll try to put it right now" I would probably accept his apology and not feel so angry about the whole thing. In fact, I would probably admonish people who continued to not support the war. But there's a fat chance of that happening. Bush continues to be stubborn. I don't think that's a characteristic of a great leader. Though others seem to disagree. But that's the great thing about this country! We can all disagree and it's okay. But some of those freedoms we take for granted are starting to be stomped on. You may not notice it if the gov't starts peeking around in your library records, but do you think that the gov't has a right to peek at your library records or do you think it's your right to keep your library records private? I bet that Cindy Sheehan, the mother protesting outside of Bush' camp is now on the terrorist watchlist. She'll probably be on the No-Fly list along with some of our senators with names that resemble terrorists. But that's an entirely new blog. I won't get into that now.
So, now you know how I feel. Have a pleasant day. Look out for Big Brother. In fact, they'll probably start watching my computer after this... oh well.

FEs (fuel efficiency) OR Flippin' Eediots...

2005-08-25T10:12:00.000-05:00

Two articles for you to read today:
http://www.usatoday.com/money/autos/2004-08-17-fuel-econ-cover_x.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/money/autos/2005-08-23-less-thirsty_x.htm
The first is an interesting article by USAToday stating that those stickers you see on the side of a new car are complete BS. The standards that the government uses to determine fuel efficiency are apparently more than 20 years old and are based on a person driving 60 mph (not 90 - hey, I know who you are...), not driving 5 miles down the road to pick up a jug of milk (therefore the car doesn't warm up), and doesn't take into account geography or weather conditions. Most agencies (and even Toyota) have agreed that those estimates on the stickers are at least 10% off. Toyota even says their fuel efficiency estimates are off 10%-15%.
Now, the second article is even more disturbing. The NHTSA recently announced new federal fuel efficiency regulations. However, the fuel efficiency (let's call it FE from now on just to make things easier) for cars didn't change at all. The "light truck" category got a make-over so that they are classified by weight and size. So the smallest "light truck" has to have a higher FE than the heaver ones. The increases in FEs aren't very much though. The "light truck" category only increases by 2.3 mpg.
So, let's consider all of this amidst the ever increasing gas prices at the pump. 2.3 mph isn't very much. It's miniscule. And these have to be in place by 2011, which is more than five years from now! Consider the damage those stupid SUVs and minivans will do to the environment in five years and the cost of a barell of crude oil in five years! But now, think about this: If the FE testing standards are all off anyway... we are looking at only 20 mpg for all SUVs, "light trucks" and minivans in 2005. The sad fact is that the manufacturers of these vehicles have the capabilities to increase FE, but it'll cost them money. And when the government doesn't care about our environment, why should they? I like what Sierra Club member Brendan Bell said, "I don't understand how the Bush administration can look Americans in the eye, when we are paying $2.75 a gallon and we are shackled to Middle East dictators, and say we can't do better when we know we can."

Can I say: "Give me a break!"

Don't tell me I'm Fat!

2005-08-24T14:23:00.000-05:00

Check out this article I read on ABC News.com
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/story?id=1063448&page=1
A doctor was reprimanded by the state health board, asked to admit he made a mistake, and take a medical education course. All because he told a patient she was obese and needed to lose weight.
Now, the article doesn't say if he actually said, "Listen ma'am, you're fat and you're gonna die if you don't lose weight soon" or if he just said "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're 50 pounds overweight which is the medical definition of obesity. Did you know obesity is a contributing factor in a multitude of diseases including cancers?"
Either way, I don't think it really matters. He's a doctor. His job is to tell people the truth, whether they want to hear it or not. Personally, I wouldn't fancy a doc telling me I had cancer, but that's not the point. I would need to know what my diagnosis was so that I could make informed decisions and try to prevent the spread and work for a recovery.
I can understand not wanting to be told you're obese. My doc calmly asks me every time I'm in there if I've been exercising. One of the people I work with at my office hasn't been to the doctor in seven years. Mostly he says, its because he's afraid the doc will tell him he needs to lose weight.
I think that most people who are overweight know they are overweight and know they need to, or probably should, lose weight. So this women probably already knew she was obese, probably already knew she was going to be causing problems for herself later on. So, if she didn't want to hear it - why go to the doctor in the first place? If that's the attitude you're going to take about your doctor's advice you might as well stay away from him and at least fifty miles away from the nearest health care professional. I think this whole thing is ridiculous.
"We are really walking on thin ice when we have the legal system coming into a doctor's office and saying what we can or cannot do," said Dr. Mark Fendrick, a professor of medicine at the University of Michigan. And this is entirely true. At what point does the legal system step in? How can we keep them from butting in? With the precedent that was set here, any one who was offended by what their doctor said could file a complaint and that doctor will probably be reprimanded. What about certain diseases and conditions that are more likely in people of African descent? Anyways, I'm glad at least that I don't live in New Hampshire.

The 40-year-old Virgin

2005-08-23T14:41:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to say a few things about this movie.
First of all, it was funny and entertaining. Second of all, it wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be. Third, if you're thinking about going to this movie with your mother, father, first-date, or children -- think again. Fourth, it does have kind of a sweet moral in the end, if you can sift through all of the lewd comments, sexual behaviors, and nudity.

Family

2005-08-23T12:44:00.000-05:00

I just sent my grandma the link to my blog. And she in turn sent me the link to my cousin's blog.
She said my cousin and I wouldn't agree on my political expressions I voice here. She said not to share my blog with her because of "family harmony."
I wouldn't want my family to be disharmonious. But anyways, I think that all of this stuff is really just personal opinion. Religion can be interpreted hundreds of different ways. Just look at the multitude of religious sects out there - and every one of them thinks they have it right. So, I've come to the conclusion that we should all just agree to disagree.
I think that as long as you think that Jesus is the Christ, who cares what other things you have interpreted as truth?
In fact, I have an interesting story about this. When I went to a Lutheran school, we did this mission trip every summer down to Mexico. The first year I went we went down to this little tiny town where we were building a church. You would think that was a good thing, right? Well, here's where this all ties together. The host church indicated that this town already had a church... but it was a Catholic church... and we couldn't allow these poor folks to suffer at the hands of Catholicism... they'd probably burn in hell. So, what do we do? Give them the chance at salvation by offering them a Lutheran church. Now, here's the funny part. I know people who think Lutheran's are going to hell!
So, my question is this? Isn't there another town in Mexico... that perhaps doesn't have a church yet that we could bring the good news of salvation to? Instead we have to rip at each other's throats to make sure these people are getting the RIGHT good news.
Jesus never would have approved. All of this bickering and arguing over who has it right... Jesus would have wanted us to all get along... to share the good news to those who haven't heard it yet... to unite as his one true church...
The problem is, that most people don't see it that way. And I don't suppose there is anything we can do to change that.
By the way - back to family - my grandma read my previous blogs and totally agrees with me. Which just thrills me! I love the fact that there are a few people out there that will agree with me - even in my family!! :) And it kind of gives me hope. Now, grandma is no spring chicken (no offense!) and sometimes you have the older generation who are completely stuck in their ways. But not my grandma!!! :) It makes me wonder if there is hope out there for some of my other relations...

700 Club

2005-08-23T10:46:00.000-05:00

Conservative Christian groups just boggle my mind.
Check out this link to an article I read today: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/wireStory?id=1060460
Apparently, Pat Robertson, the host of the 700 Club, told his listeners that the leader of Venezuela should be assasinated. Now, I don't know much about history or Venezuela. This guy might be bad, but to encourage your country or other "independent" groups to assasinate someone - anyone - well, that's just beyond my grasp.
What's the deal with these people? Apparently, this isn't the first time Pat Robertson has said some controversial things. So why are we still allowing him air time? Why do these gung-ho Christians still listen to him?
I don't have anything against Christianity. In fact, I count myself among its members. But people should just use their common sense. Why listen to someone who obviously is full of baloney? It makes more sense to just read the bible yourself, interpret it yourself and go from there.

Christian Hypocrites

2005-08-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

I was reading today in USA Today about the Ohio Restoration Project. These people want to turn politics into religion and vice versa. These kind of people drive me nuts!! I just don't understand how anyone could possibly think that driving out any view that is not fundamentally "conservative Christian" is a good thing. Didn't our country once stand for freedom? Freedom of speech, freedom FROM religion? So if the religious conservatives take over, where is the room for the rest of us? What gets me is the hypocrisy of it all. The vehemently disagree with gay marriages saying it is destroying the "sanctity" of marriage. But no one has yet to raise a peep about the divorce rate in our country. They refuse to let two people who really love eachother get married, but they could care less if two people who are already married just let it all go down the crapper? Well, I think that's a bunch of horse manure. I consider myself somewhat religious, but I could never belong to any organization (including a church) that followed those beliefs. There is just something sooo unchristian like about it that makes my ears want to bleed!